It’s been a while since we’ve seen the couples from Season 1 of Arranged, but our three couples have still been up to a lot since they left the small screen.
Our west coast couple, Ragini and Veeral, had to work through quite a few of issues throughout their season, from family problems to plans on building a family. We caught up with the couple to find out what they’ve been up to since Season 1 ended.
What’s new with you both since the show ended?
We are doing great! The biggest update since the show ended is probably that Veeral has taken on a new job as a high-powered consultant in the pharmaceutical space (a slight deviation from Hospital Administration at Cedars Sinai, but a nice segue into an area that he has wanted to break into for quite some time). As luck would have it, Veeral’s new job took us out of our hip and trendy neighborhood in Beverly Hills and in to the San Fernando Valley (i.e. closer to Veeral’s family!). The move was an adjustment, especially for Ragini who had lived in “LA proper” for more than 8 years, but we are making the most of it!
How did you deal with family pressure throughout your engagement/marriage?
It was a very difficult balance to deal with wedding planning, families (and their MANY opinions), work and just other unforeseeable surprises that life brings (i.e. Ragini breaking her leg 5 weeks before the wedding!). We tried to appease family where we could, but it was a challenge, given all the customs and expectations. Each family member felt ownership of the wedding for different reasons… “it’s my daughter’s wedding,” “it’s my brother’s wedding,” “it’s my only son’s wedding,” etc. The truth is that it was OUR wedding (Veeral and Ragini). We differed on this topic because Veeral felt that a wedding is for the family, and Ragini felt that the wedding is for the couple… This fundamental difference in philosophy caused conflict. Ultimately, we found our middle ground and compromised to make each family member get a “victory” along the way on what they wanted. And of course, don’t let wedding planning consume you. Take time out for each other, so that you can get a reminder on why you want to spend your life with this person in the first place. ☺
How did you find a balance between your Indian traditions and living a modern-day life in preparing for your wedding and your marriage?
Again, this was a tough balance. Our parents had some very specific requirements on some of the Indian customs. For example, it is customary that someone from the bride’s side (either the brother or other immediate family) drops off the wedding invitation card to the Groom’s house with a box of Indian sweets. This was probably easier back in the Indian villages when you just walked over or took a rickshaw. Not quite as feasible out in the U.S., where Ragini’s parents/brother live in Houston and Veeral’s parents are in L.A. So… Ragini’s parents modernized it and Fed-Exed that bad boy. Not sure if Veeral’s mom was a big fan of this approach, but it ended up working fine for us in the end. We were not fans of the customs that did not carry weight or meaning in today’s time and made logistics more difficult, so some modernization was needed.
Are you still living close to the in-laws? Do you think your relationship with them changed since Season 1 ended?
We are living much closer to the in-laws, now that we are in the San Fernando Valley! Candidly, I think our relationship was initially strained after Season 1. There were a lot of unfiltered comments made on all sides that may have caused some hurt feelings. But it also brought us closer, because we were able to bond on the fact that we did something together, as a unit (i.e. filming a TV show). And of course, we are now closer in proximity as well! The generous Indian food drop-offs are much appreciated from Veeral’s mom, which is a definite perk ☺. Since living closer together, we learned to find a balance between spending time together as a couple (continuing to develop our new marriage), and spending time with Veeral’s family.
How has the adjustment to married life been?
The first year of marriage was a year of adjustment. Our biggest adjustment has been blending the two families, and all of the different personalities and “cooks” in the kitchen (literally in this case). We had to figure out which of our Indian traditions that we wanted to follow, and which ones that we were willing to live without. We learned that every marriage is different and unique in its own right, and it was up to us to define ours (without society or family pressure). We also fought a lot the first year! Veeral had to play mediator a lot on issues with Ragini and his family, which was exhausting for him. Ragini had to learn to pick her battles better, so that Veeral was not always caught in the middle and playing ‘referee.’ Through it all, Veeral and Ragini have become a stronger team and realize that it cannot work any other way…
What advice would you have for a young Indian couple entering an arranged marriage?
Hmmm, how about an acronym here? Our advice would be to BUS… Balance, Unify, and Stay Calm. ☺ Balance the Eastern ways with the Western Ways until you find the perfect cocktail that works for you both. You will get pressure to do it the Eastern way, but it’s OK to question that (or accept it) and figure out if it makes sense in YOUR relationship. If you know that an issue means a lot to your partner, then make a compromise (and vice versa). Next, unify as a couple… this is the hard part. You and your partner should find a way to get on the same team, so that you can be a unified voice. This may require extra communication, understanding, and even therapy/counseling so that you may get on the same page. Lastly, Stay Calm! Anger and frustration will get you nowhere, and can only potentially harm the relationship and stir up negativity. Find a way to communicate with kindness and remember that this is your best friend and partner for life! So yes, the BUS method may be hard to implement, but the destination will be worth it. ☺ Good luck!
Watch the all-new couples of Arranged on Tuesdays at 9/8c! And you can catch up with Ragini and Veeral, along with the other Arranged Season 1 couples on Arranged Life!
