It takes time, commitment and both partners to keep a relationship afloat, which is even more crucial when you hit a rough patch. Here are five ways you can reignite that fire and restore bliss to your relationship.
1. Make your relationship a priority
Once you make your relationship a priority, it becomes the most important thing in the world to you. It also shows your partner how determined and dedicated you are, inspiring them as well. This is particularly true for marriages. Claudia Arp, co-author of marital advice book 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage, says, “We see a lot of husbands and wives who never, ever reprioritize their relationship after marriage. They’re still entwined with their family of origin, putting their parents and siblings first. Or they’ve been on their own for years and don’t realize that their friends or job or other interests no longer take precedence. You need to be able to say ‘My spouse comes first.’ Yes, you love and respect your parents. And you still get together with your friends. But this is your anchor relationship. If you establish this now, it will be easier to hold on to when life becomes more complicated later in your marriage.”
2. Ask questions
Unless you’re psychic, you may not know what your partner is always thinking. It never hurts asking questions about their thoughts and feelings. According to Barton Goldsmith Ph.D, emotional fitness expert for Psychology Today, some questions that will help open up communication between you and your spouse include: “What can I help you with right now?”, “How can I show you I love you?”, “What’s something you’d like to do together that we have never done before?” and “What is it about our life together that makes you happy?”
3. Keep kissing
According to a 2013 research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, kissing isn’t just a means to sexual arousal. In fact, the quality of kissing mattered more to subjects than frequency of sex. Kissing is seen as extremely important at re-established stages of relationship and in long-term relationship contexts (particularly by women), and kissing frequency was found to be related to relationship satisfaction.
4. Lighten up
Try not to be serious all the time, and have fun with your relationship. Relationship expert and author Dr. Terri Orbuch says: “One of the qualities I observed among the happiest couples is the ease with which they relate. They joke. They shrug their shoulders with a smile. They are accepting. Sometimes we forget what brought us together in the first place.”
Orbuch suggests sitting down with your partner and telling stories about how you first met, then sharing with your partner a quality that always makes you smile. This helps couples get back in touch with the happy side of their relationship, as opposed to the more serious side.
5. Power down your smartphone!
A study published in 2014’s Computers in Human Behavior looked at data from 1,160 married couples and found a hugely negative correlation between heavy social media usage, relationship happiness and marriage quality. In fact, Facebook penetration is associated with increasing divorce rates! Put the smartphone away during important times with your partner, like in the bedroom and at dinner table, and you’ll strengthen your bond.
